Two Stupid Gits Go To Hogwarts
by a git with a computer
Summary: Two little aussie dazzlers end up going to Hogwarts, 6th year, The teachers are mean and things are kinda rough on them, But they make some new friends . . and enemies.
1. Caffine is GOOD!

(Disclaimer - You know how this goes, you"ve seen it before, you know what it means, ok, I do not own the characters of Harry Potter, ya da ya da ya da, they all came from the glorious holy mind or JK Rowling, and we should all praise her, and dance, and sing and be merry. All right every body get up and do the JK Rowling dance, you all know how it goes *dances*, grand. And this is kind of a mary sue but not, because Miranda and jess are actual people, and well if you don"t like it you can eat me, eat me raw!! *growls*)  
  
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Miranda stepped into Dome, one of her favourite coffee shops, stood and took one deep breathe in through her nose, the smell of coffee over came her. Her semi-long chocolaty coloured hair was pulled back by a black head band which matched her out fit perfectly, wearing her typical black and white checked skirt which showed quite a lot of leg, to jess anyway, a black collar top , and her favourite Mary janes. Since Miranda had gotten very, ridiculously skinny, she was able to pull it off, and she made that shit look good. Jess looked over from there favourite booth, examined her from head to toe *Retard* she thought  
  
"Oi, Miranda" she said in her semi- American Australian accent.  
  
Miranda"s eyes shot open as she walked over to her, trying to look very sophisticated, and tripped on a loose floor board only to stumble the rest of the way to jess, who by now was absolutely pissing herself with laughter. Miranda"s face went bright red.  
  
"Shut up, so are we going to get some coffee?" she said trying to change the subject, from the tripping incident to the getting of the coffee.  
  
Jess, who was still giggling over the fact that Miranda had completely stacked it, rose and made her way to the coffee counter, taking into regard that Miranda never ordered, anything. Ever.  
  
Miranda inspected Jesses choice of clothing today, it was her usual, black flowing skirt, black long sleeved top, with another corset-y type top over that, her sisters rainbow coloured toe socks and her undone black doc martins. Her long wavy hair was out today, seeing as she had placed it in pigtails the night before and hadn"t brushed it since she woke up. Jess was never really a good style person, but it was good in a weird sort of way. It was such a jess thing to wear. She never liked showing a large amount of skin, as it had seemed that the population of girls their age were running around ½ naked these days.  
  
Leaning over the counter, forgetting about the large amount of cleavage this top showed, Jess started to order some coffee from the female waitress who incidentally gave her a dirty look. "Oh shit!" She looked down trying to attempt to cover up her ample bosoms she smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Sorry"  
  
* While she was up at the counter, Miranda removed a piece of tan paper, from her satchel. She read over it, quickly before Jess could return with the coffees.  
  
"Oh shit!" she heard Jess"s voice ring out over the noisy café.  
  
I"m gonna miss that one Miranda thought looking at jess fondly. She didn"t know how she was going to break it to jess, that she was going to be leaving for England in a week and well basically not to return for the next 3 years. She looked down at the letter in her hand, tears started to swell in her eyes.  
  
"Take it, take it, take it," Jess said quickly, holding a coffee in each hand, one of the cups shaking a bit as miranda took it from her.  
  
"Dude that thing is heavy," she said looking at Miranda whose eyes had gone red and slightly puffy, she had been teary.  
  
"Miranda sweetie are you ok?"  
  
"I"m fine."  
  
"No your not, don"t lie to me," she looked into Jess's eyes, she could always tell when something was wrong, or she was just paranoid, and thought every thing was wrong.  
  
"Sugar," she said staring at her coffee "We need sugar" taking this as a sign that Miranda needed some time to collect herself, she rose and made her way to the sugar slowly, trying to take as long a time as possible.  
  
"2 sweet"n"low for Jess, and 3 brown sugar for Miranda" she looked down at the sugars in her hand, *this is going to be one of the last times I"m going to be in this café, how am I going to tell Miranda?* She thought staring at the sugar, completely oblivious to the person behind her.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Jess jumped.  
  
"Heh, sorry", allowing the woman to get to the sugar, and returning quickly to her seat. Both had decided not to tell each other there news, just yet. They concentrated all of there attention to adding there sugar to there coffee, enabling themselves to prepare for how they were going to break the news to each other. Neither of them spoke.  
  
The awkward silence that had suddenly fallen upon the two, for the first time ever, was broken, by both of the two girls, saying in unison "I have to tell you something."  
  
Silence. Both sipped there coffee, trying to prepare for what was to come.  
  
"Ok well . . you go fi- . . " they said together.  
  
The silence had returned to the table once more, and the coffee sipping had returned aswell.  
  
There eyes had fallen on the table, particularly at one dent in the middle of the table. There eyes met. *Now or never* Miranda thought, *I best just tell it like it is* Jess thought.  
  
"I'm leaving," they both said once again in unison  
  
Both looked at each other, Jess could feel her eyes stinging and a lump develop in her throat. That lump, That bloody lump.  
  
"What do you mean your leaving, where are you going? How did this come about?" she blurted out all at once. "Your not supposed to leave me, your not it's against the rules,"  
  
"ME!" Miranda yelled out indignantly "What about you! You're the one leaving me!"  
  
"Wait, we"re both leaving, so why is it such a big deal?" The lump in Jess's throat had lifted, she was still slightly crying. "Well where are you going?"  
  
"Why? Where are you going."  
  
"Ok Miranda brace yourself, I know that this might sound a bit crazy,"  
  
"Oh I assure you not as crazy as where I'm going"  
  
"Well as I was saying, ok I'm going to England to . . . Miranda are you alright?" she was just sitting there in complete shock, her mouth was open giving jess a clear view of her tonsils. *Oh my god, could it be* Miranda thought still staring her mouth as wide as ever.  
  
Grabing Miranda's head, into a head-hug, she yelled out "Oh no, me leaving has caused Miranda to regress into a vegetable state. Dam you Salazar, ddaamm yooouuu sssaaalllaaazzaaarrr" waving her fists in the air.  
  
Miranda, coming to her senses and realizing that her face had manage to have become squashed up to Jess"s breast, jerked up right. Jesses hands were still on the back of her head. "Get off me!" she said indignantly, bitch slapping jess slightly, without moving the top of her arms "you messed up my hair" Jess started to giggle, she had unintentionally caused Miranda's hair to stand basically on end with her boob. She was just staring at her with a great deal of confusion. After pruning herself, the conversation continued  
  
"Jess, this is very important, why are you going to England?"  
  
"Ok, well this is the crazy part, I got this letter and it was delieverd by this like owl,"  
  
"Like this?" Miranda pulls out the piece of paper and places it gently on the table. Jess"s eyes started to widen as she read:  
  
Dear Ms Johnson,  
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to Hogwarts school of witch craft and wizardy. We are a school of magic, set up in England. We are fully aware that you live in Australia and have not ever heard of us, but we assure you that we are real. . .  
  
"Wait, does this mean what I think this means?"  
  
" I think so"  
  
"So we are . ."  
  
"Yeah,"  
  
She looked at Miranda, great, I'm going to be stuck with this git for the next 3 years, remembering clearly last years science and maths classes, they were a heart beat away from killing each other.  
  
"What did your parents say about it?"  
  
"They were stressing over it, my dad wasn't happy with the idea, of course, you know how he is big with the studies,"  
  
"Yeah my parents are cool with it, I mean come on there daughters going to be a witch although they were kinda peeved, at the fact that we have to leave before 3rd terms ends,"  
  
Silence had once again for the forth time returned to the booth.  
  
"Oh my god Miranda, did it just hit you all of a sudden that were going to be living together, in London, studying witch craft . . . DUDE!"  
  
"Yeah, I just can't believe it!"  
  
The two girls started bouncing up and down on there seats, completely oblivious to the big shaggy dog that was watching them, from the alley across the street. And they continued to bounce for some time, not saying anything, just bouncing, up and down and up and down. 


	2. A Plane, A Giant, some cheese and a llam...

"I reckon it was really stupid of these magic-y people to only give us a week to get ready. I mean seriously, it's ridiculous!" Jess said pacing the waiting room of the airport.  
  
The past week the girls had spent their time 1) Shopping for supplies for there time at Hogwarts, i.e., batteries, CD's, coke-a-cola. 2) Burning there old school uniform, promising to never, ever wear moron plad again 3) Getting as much money off there parents as they could 4) Miranda saying goodbye to Michael, this took a total of 3 days to happen 5) Saying good bye to all of there friends, particularly Emma, whom was really the only one who mattered out of all of there friends. (When they were saying good-bye to Kate, she gave her 'I'm too good for you, what the hell do you think you are doing you immature little twits!' face that the group had all come to know and hate (despite the fact that Miranda and jess weren't too keen on Kate, it still did not dismiss the fact that they would miss her, and her dumbness.)  
  
"Jess just calm down ok, we have got everything packed right?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so, I mean we have our Discmans, batteries, CD's, coke, clothes, make-up."  
  
"Well, if we have everything . . . SIT THE FUCK DOWN!" Miranda accidentally yelled at Jess. The whole room went quite, she turned around and glared at the very few people in the waiting room.  
  
"So . .," Miranda continued, "I can't believe this is actually happening, I mean really happening"  
  
"It's so exciting. What do we have to do when we get there again?"  
  
Miranda went searching through her carry-on bag for the second letter that had been sent to them 2 days before hand.  
  
"It says that once we get to London that we have to wait for someone to come and get us."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"It doesn't say, just that someone will come and get us and take us to our accommodation,"  
  
"Shit, so there is a possibility that no-one will be there to pick us up and that we will be stranded in London, with no were to go, and no place to sleep, and no way of getting home, and oh no I've gone cross-eyed," Jess exclaimed whilst crossing her eyes. Both girls began to giggle.  
  
"Yeah, I suppose that could happen but they wouldn't leave us there," Miranda said trying to reassure not only Jess but herself.  
  
* "Yawn" Jess said whilst yawning.  
  
"Tired?"  
  
"How did you know?" she said sarcastically, turning to look at Miranda.  
  
She was about to say something more but her eyes were drawn to a figure standing in the darkness. All that escaped her open mouth was a gasp. The man was FINE! He had dirty, ripped jeans, and a green top. His face was slender with very visible cheek bones, you could see the stubble on his face, and his hair was a dark chocolate-y brown and was dirty.  
  
"Miranda, don't look, but there is a guy standing behind you, who looks like Viggo Mortensen,"  
  
She spun around, and sure enough the man standing in the corner looked almost exactly like Aragorn from LOTR. There was something about him that she could not put her finger on. He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't all together right, he confused her. This resulted in her staring at him for a long period of time, Jess could see the trade mark fangirl drool at the corner of her mouth, and the smile creep across her face.  
  
"Miranda!" Jess said, forcing Miranda's face away from the viggo-clone, "Stop staring at him!"  
  
"Bloody hell, Jess I can look at who ever I want to look at, for however long," she said sticking her nose in the air and straining her neck to get a good view of him.  
  
"He's gone!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"He like disappeared!"  
  
"That can't be," but sure enough when Jess looked over there was no one to be seen, just an empty shadow.  
  
"Weird"  
  
"We are now boarding rows 1-17 on flight 937, non-stop to London," the Annoying voice came over the P.A.  
  
"That's us," Miranda said, bending down and collecting her carry-on bag, and her guitar case.  
  
As the man in the shadows watched the two girls collect there things off the floor, he pondered, how on earth such power could be concealed in two little packages. They were only little girls, completely oblivious of what is to come. Yet, last time, it was just a 14 year old boy, maybe these girls did have power.  
  
As Miranda and Jess were entering the plane, a chill went up both girls backs, they suddenly turned around and gazed right at the shadowed figure. "Do you feel that?" Miranda asked Jess.  
  
"Like you're being watched?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"I feel it too".  
  
*  
  
The plane trip was hell. All of the lights were turned off because 'All the passengers were trying to sleep'. Jess threw-up at least once. Both of them were too excited to sleep, and couldn't get over the fact that this was really happening. They kept asking the flight attendants for food and drink and nuts, seeing as this was all paid in advance. They talked only to be told to be quiet, by the total of 3 other passengers. So they tried to read, but were to excited to pay attention to there books. Their anxiousness eventually over came them resulting in games such as commandos, which involved weaving in and out and climbing over the seats.  
  
* "I miss Emma," Jess said sounding bored.  
  
They had been waiting for someone to pick them up for almost an hour. The effects of last nights lack of sleep had finally taken a tole on the two girls, resulting in Miranda lying down with her head on Jess's lap, practically asleep. Miranda's reply to Jess's comment a mumble about cheese and llama's.  
  
Jess rubbed her eyes, when she opened them, they were blurry and she could barley see, she rubbed her eyes again but the blurriness was still there. Each time she rubbed her eyes, they became harder to open, until they were shut. So there were both girls one asleep sitting down on the floor with her back propped up against the wall, the other fast asleep on her lap.  
  
Just as she had started to 'rest her eyes', a very large man walked in through the automatic doors, having to bend over to fit in the door. He was very large, both vertically and horizontally, he would've been at least 3 times the size of Jess and Miranda put together, both of them being rather slender girls. If the airport had not been completely deserted, the arrival of this giant sized man would have caused a commotion.  
  
Spotting the two girls against the wall, he walked over to them taking giant steps,  
  
"Sorry 'bout that," he said having to strain his neck to look down at the two girls. "Ruebus Hagrids' tha' name, keeper of keys and grounds at 'owarts is ma' game," he said with a proud chuckle. He had always wanted to say that.  
  
No answer came from the two girls, who had not looked up at him this whole time. Being the attention drawing man that he is, it was odd for the girls not to stare or gasp.  
  
"Look I know I was late an' all, but tha's no reason not to talk to me,"  
  
"Nomumidunwannagotoschooltoday," was his only reply, this coming from the girl propped up against the wall. He finally got what was happening; here he was getting angry at someone who didn't even know he was there, the sweet little things, particularly the one that was curled up on the other ones lap.  
  
Carefully as he could, as not to disturb, in his eyes, the two sleeping pixies, he loaded there luggage onto a motorcycle parked out side of the automatic doors. Next he came back to the two girls and, with one in each arm carried them to the motorcycle.  
  
Jess woke up briefly, she felt like she was being carried by pillows, that smelt like cinnamon and tea, she didn't care how it was happening, she felt safe, and went back to sleep. 


	3. A Topless experience

*  
  
Miranda awoke the next day, after having the most amazing dream about a big nice smelling man, who had taken her and her friend Jess on a flying motor cycle.  
  
She stretched out her arms, and hit her hands on the wall. Her eyes flung open, the brightness of the sun through the window temporarily blinded her. Then the memories of last night came flooding back to her, the air plane, the commandos, the waiting, the waiting, the waiting, the cheese and the llama, and the motorcycle.  
  
She sat up in bed; looking around the room she recognised nothing, accept for the lump in the bed next to her, that she could distinguish as Jess. She poked Jess hard in the ribs, and as a response she got hit in the head with the back of Jess' hand.  
  
Miranda held the side of her face, and gave out a loud sound of shock before hitting Jess back.  
  
"Miranda why the bloody hell did you do that for," Jess said looking like complete shit, un-like most people, she was defiantly NOT a morning person, she was more of a late at night, when you can barley see her face, person. She hit Miranda back.  
  
"God Jess in case you haven't noticed, I do believe we have been kidnapped," she said, signalling to the very unfamiliar room. Both girls looked at each other as complete terror came across there faces,  
  
"Hold me."  
  
"Only if you hold me."  
  
So two girls resembling pixies, sat in the double bed clutching each other. Suddenly there came a knock at the door, and the noise of someone clearing there throat.  
  
" 'scuse me, uh, ladies, but if your up an' dressed then, bre'kfast is downstairs", came a deep English accent from behind the door.  
  
They both looked at the door, Miranda gave Jess a shove, and signalled for her to open the door, 'NO, you do it' Jess mimed with her mouth, Miranda shook her head vigorously. So Jess got up and went to the door, she opened it, and had to strain her neck to look at the welcoming face that stared down at her.  
  
"Hullo, ruebeus Hagrids' tha name," said the giant man, who had to bend to fit in the corridor, Jess just stared at him.  
  
She wasn't staring at the fact that he was ridiculously tall, she was staring at the fact of how short she suddenly felt, *so this is what Miranda feels like.*  
  
"Oh, hi," Jess greeted him cheerily, "I'm Jessica."  
  
Realizing that she was still staring at him and seeing the sad expression on his face, she quickly tried to justify it. "Oh no, sorry, I wasn't staring at you because you seem to be freakishly tall, no wait that came out wrong, it was because I just realized how Miranda feels all time, I mean you made me realize how short I am and . . .shit" she said looking down at her failure, "I'm sorry my foot tends to live in my mouth."  
  
Hagrid stared at her with a confused expression across his face, *This girl is very odd,and speaks very fas*t, he thought looking at the top of her head for a minuet. Jess looked up at him, she felt bad that she had made him feel sad.  
  
"Sorry"  
  
"Awe tha's, ok, I get tha a lot," he said as his face softened into a smile.  
  
"Jess," Miranda whispered from the bed, clutching the blanket for dear life, "What's going on?"  
  
"Oh yeah," Jess stepped away from the door and held it open, "Do come in Hagrid."  
  
The tall man, doing as he was told, had to stoop even further to enter the tiny room. Miranda just stared as, a giant man entered there room. Her mouth dropped. As Hagrid straightened himself, Miranda's head followed, so now she looked like a goldfish. He started to giggle, yes the ridiculously huge manly, man giggled. Jess was waving her arms frantically at Miranda, whilst jumping up and down to get her attention, trying, and failing, to tell her not to stare. It worked; Miranda had stopped staring at Hagrid, and was now giving Jess a look of bemusement, Hagrid too was looking at Jess in utter confusion. She stopped waving her arms, looking from one to the other.  
  
"Oh . .uh . . . dam flies," she said pretending to swat at flies that weren't really there "Must've gone," she said lowering her hands, "This is Miranda, Miranda, this is Hagrid," signalling for Miranda to get out of the bed.  
  
Miranda stood and went over to meet Jess. Hagrid now understood why she had said she felt like Miranda. Miranda was short, not like ridiculously short, but shorter than Jess anyway.  
  
"Hullo, rudeus hagrids tha name," he said holding out a hand to each girl, both took one hand, and shook it, his hands were so large compared to there tiny ones. They all looked at each other, Miranda and Jess liked him already.  
  
* "Ok, so I have my cauldron, my books, my scales, and know all I need is a wand, my robes and a pet," Jess said reading over her booklist.  
  
"You'll wanna ter go ter 'Olivanders' fer yer wands," said Hagrid signalling with an arm full of packages.  
  
These two girls were excellent shoppers, he could tell they had been practising, however, they weren't able to carry all of there school supplies. So Hagrid, being the gentleman that he is, offered to carry there stuff for them, he was know suddenly regretting it, as his legs started to buckle under the weight.  
  
"Lil' fella's, I'm gunna 'ead back to tha Leaky Cauldron, ter put yer supplies in yer rooms", he had gotten into the habit of calling them little fella's "Tha's were ya get yer robes," he signalled with his head to a shop called "Madam Malkin's robes for All Occasions, An tha's where ya get yer pets, now I'm off,". And with that he turned and headed up the street towards the wall where the, as Jess had so eloquently put it, 'cool brick-y move-y thing-y' had happened.  
  
The girls had decided to start at the back, and work there way to the front, to the 'cool brick-y move-y thing-y' place. As they passed each shop they looked inside and commented on the contents. Has they passed Olivanders, the door was open, so being the inquisitive people that they were, they stuck there heads in and observed an old man, with eyes that shone in the darkness of the shop, serve two customers, a women an her son,  
  
"Ahhhhh," said the old man, "I was wondering when I would be seeing you," he said pointing at the young boy. Both having very short attention spans, were distracted by the owls in the shop across the road, left to inspect them.  
  
*  
  
As they entered the robes shop, a short, smiling witch greeted them.  
  
"Hello my dears, how may I be helping you today?" she asked in a kind voice. "You have Hogwarts uniforms?"  
  
"Why yes we do, here stand here," she said and signalled to two raised platforms to the back of the shop.  
  
Two busying witched, with tape measures quickly rushed out from the back of the shop, and started measuring the girls. Both looked at each other in fear, as the women measured the inside of their legs, then their bust. The women then began busying themselves, rummaging through shelves and shelves of clothes. Jess leaned over to Miranda  
  
"Hey Miranda," she whispered "I think we were just molested."  
  
"Yeah, me too," was her shaky reply.  
  
A bundle of school robes had been flung into their arms and they were shooed away to the change rooms, as another customer was being served. Miranda went into the first change room, and Jess into the second. She drew the blinds and started to take off her many layers of clothing. She had just slipped on the skirt and was about to put on the top, when her blinds were drawn, whipping around she met the face of a boy about her age, with slicked back blonde hair. He was staring at her, well not at her but at her boobs.  
  
"Have a nice view?" she said cuttingly, to the boy who looked up at her and smirked, his eyes were a pale blue and icy, she was fascinated by his eyes, for a couple of seconds nothing happened, they just stood looking at one another.  
  
Jess broke the eye lock by looking down, as she frequently did. She started to giggle, the boy looked down, his face went bright red, and he bolted out the door of the shop. Closing the blinds, she continued to get dressed.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"You've got to be kidding me," Miranda said exiting her change room. All of the clothes were way to big, the skirt reached her knees, the top had left it all up to the imagination, and the damned robe thing that she was expected to wear was dragging on the floor.  
  
"Jess come out let's take a look."  
  
"This is ridiculous; I mean seriously, it's ridiculous. Look," she said pointing at her chest or lack there of, "where the hell have my boobs disappeared to?" she said stalking back into the change room searching through her clothes, "I think I might have left them in my other out-fit. Or maybe that guy stole off with them when I wasn't looking"  
  
"Yeah same with me," Miranda said pointing at her lack of chest-ness "wait what boy?"  
  
"Didn't you hear me talking?"  
  
"Yes, but I thought you were talking to yourself, you being crazy and all," she said with a cheeky smile on her face.  
  
"HA HA your funny Miranda, but any-,"  
  
"Ok girls, come this way," said the woman hustling them towards the wooden blocks, they had previously been standing on. Once again the other two women came out from the back, this time, armed with pins. They began busying themselves hitching here, and hiking there, and cutting here and tightening there.  
  
"But as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted," Jess continued on with the recount of what had happened, every so often asking the women to make she skirt shorter, and her top tighter.  
  
~*~*~  
  
They looked at themselves in the mirror, they had done well, the skirt was now about 10 cm from there knees, grey and pleated. The top, white, short sleeved and button up, with a collar, had managed to tighten it slightly so it was baggy, but just tight enough so you could see the out-line of there boobs. And there once big, black, fuck-off robes were now at a normal length. 


	4. Stuff of the Wand Variety

Thankx to everyone who reviewed!! You all rock the Kasbah! And to those who didn't. oooooooooo *holds back of hand up threateningly* I will take the advice of strangers, and I have added "" instead of ''. Enjoy!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The time was about 2 o'clock when they had left the robes shop and headed towards the pet-store. They entered, and looking around they were bombarded with the smell of fur and animal excrement. The two girls looked around in awe, in a glass case to the back of the store on the counter, kittens were playing hopscotch, next to that, rats and mice were jumping rope using there tails. All around the store common household animals, usually classified as un-intelligent, were doing something amazing. Something had caught Miranda's eye, moving swiftly and silently to a glass case at the back of the store. She pressed her face up against it, "Bats" she whispered. "Oh god," Jess replied rolling her eyes, ever since they had visited the nocturnal house at the zoo, Miranda had been fussing about not having a bat and how she wanted a bat, and Bat Batty McBat. She moved to join her friend whose face was now flat up against the glass.  
  
"Ok Miranda we can get you a . . ferrets!" she said bolting across the tiny shop, to a glass case containing brown, blonde, black and white ferrets.  
  
"DEAR GOD they are gorgeous, Miranda come over here and look at the pretty ferrets,"  
  
"Can't, busy,"  
  
"Oh yeah, I can feel the enthusiasm, all the way from here."  
  
Jess was waving and saying hello to all of the ferrets and completely squishing her face up against the class.  
  
"Can I help you?" came a voice from behind. Jess screamed, the woman had frighten them half to death, Miranda hand her hand on her chest and was breathing heavily.  
  
"Don't DO that," Miranda said trying to catch her breathe.  
  
"Sorry, I noticed that you were looking at the bats, beautiful creatures, they are however an aquired taste," she said looking into the bats cage. Jess had returned to squishing her face up against the glass and stroking it lovingly.  
  
"Yes, I love them,"  
  
*  
  
20 minuets later, Jess and Miranda exited the pet shop, bringing with them 1 small cage covered in a black cloth, another larger cage covered in an even bigger black cloth, and an empty little cage.  
  
"Jess!" Miranda said pointing at the empty cage, "your rats gone!"  
  
"Ferret, you dumb bastard, it's a bloody ferret," Miranda started to giggle, she had always taken pleasure in irritating Jess, "and it's right here," she said patting her wriggling pocket.  
  
"Oooohhhh, lets take a look then," she said reaching into Jess's pocket and pulling out a black ferret, "Jess, what's up with the colour?"  
  
"Oh shut up Miranda, I like it in black,"  
  
"It's not black, you complete idiot"  
  
"What?" Jess said spinning around, and sure enough, in Miranda's palm a little curled up, black quivering thing.  
  
"Yes, it's black Miranda see," Jess said and with that the ferret awoke, and looked straight a her, it's eyes were a deep red set against a . . . . . .a WHITE face!?!? The oddly coloured ferret looked at her once, blinked and jumped from Miranda's hand to land lightly on Jess's shoulder.  
  
She held out her hand to the ferret, "Come on, on ya get," she said to it, and thus it obeyed. She observed this multi-coloured ferret. The bottom half of it was a deep night black, and the rest of it was albino, including its red eyes.  
  
"My three favourite colours," she said eying it off, "alright then back in the pocket," the ferret obeyed, however sticking it's head out every so often to look at where they were going, curious little thing.  
  
*  
  
The two girls entered Olivanders, the room was dark and dusty, ridiculously dusty, *Emma wouldn't like this,* Miranda thought to her amusement.  
  
"Emma would hate this, aye," Jess whispered to Miranda.  
  
She looked around; the walls were lined with shelves, upon shelves of long cardboard boxes. The shop was empty apart from one tall desk in the middle of the room. A tall skinny man, came bustling out from the back rows of shelves, he stopped when he caught sight of the girls, his eyes widened.  
  
"Ahhhh, I was wondering when I'd be seeing YOU,' he said pointing at them.  
  
Both girls started to giggle at this.  
  
"Do you always say that line?" jess said in-between giggles, "Because we just heard you say that to someone eles, you really need to get a new opening line." He looked hurt, he had been using that line for the past 25 years, and no-one had complained; now he had better make up a new one.  
  
"It's not that it is bad, it's just I think you might need a change," Miranda said looking at his sad face and patting him on the back.  
  
He felt happy that it wasn't a bad line, it was a good fuckin line, ok?  
  
"Ok then," he said hanging his head in shame, "both of you hold out you wand arms." Instinctively they both held up there writing arms, Miranda left, Jess right.  
  
"Curious, a lefty, haven't had one of them in a while, a hard customer," he tried to say in a mysterious voice, resulting in the girls giggling again. Agitatedly he moved to the back, from which the girls could hear rustling, mumbling, climbing, a yell and the sound of many wand boxes falling on a skinny agitated old man, a noise that there have heard SO often. The girls started to giggle, as they ran to the back of the store to help Olivander, they arrived on the scene finding only a pile of small boxes, that appeared to be moving. *  
  
"This one is willow, nice and swishy," he said handing Miranda a wand, "go on, give it a wave," she did, she waved it right at jess, whom went flying across the room.  
  
"NO!," Miranda yelled holding out her free handing, and squeezing her eyes shut tight thinking that it would stop her. It didn't. As jess went flying through the air, the wall that she was supposed to hit, exploded, and bits of timber rained down on jess as she lay helpless of the floor of broken timber.  
  
"OW, YOU BITCH!" Jess got up, and holding onto her tenderized arse, stormed over to Miranda, whose face had contorted in fear. She held up her hand and gave Miranda's back a huge SMACK.  
  
"God, jess why did you have to do THAT for!"  
  
"Well Miranda, you dumb bastard, in case you hadn't realized, you just shot me across the room!"  
  
"God, it was an accident, there was no ne- . ." Both girls stopped, and turned there heads to look at Olivander, and followed his look of horror to the rubble that lay once were the wooden wall had. The people in the shop next door, were poking there heads in and looking around trying to find the source, that had caused this lack of wall.  
  
"Not to worry, you must've swished your wand again," he said looking for a reason as to why, the wall had exploded so gallantly.  
  
"Oh, yeah," Miranda said looking down at her own hand, "I must've."  
  
A look of amazement and shock all mingle into one was now on her face. He pulled out his own wand, "Basis repairo," he said, and the bits of wood, flew back up and formed a perfect wall once again, 'now back to the wands,' and with that he disappeared only to return with at least 20 boxes in arm.  
  
*  
  
It was getting dark, and they were still on Olivanders, choosing wands, or the wands choosing them.  
  
"Try this," Mr Olivander said in a dull voice. These girls were tricky customers, so far he had to shoo away at least 10 others, because he was still on these ones. His vase of flowers had just exploded, and bits of flowers and glass fell into his hair, he didn't care, boredom had taken over him.  
  
"Try this," he said handing Miranda ANOTHER wand, "Rowan, 8 inches, hair of an animagus dog, nice and swishy." That was the one. The air all around Miranda began to blow violently, a wind that cam from nowhere, she started to feel at though all the hair on her arm was standing on end, and a white sort of electricity was creeping along her skin.  
  
"Wooha, talk about a head rush," she said trying to steady herself, against the dusty chair Jess was sitting on. Jess shifted to the other side of the chair, she was still angry at Miranda for making her fly across the room.  
  
"Good for you," she said coldly, as she got up and walk over the bored looking Olivander.  
  
"Come on man, make with the wands, I want to get out of here before I turn 70," she said snapping her fingers at Olivander. He quickly walked to the back of the room, and returned with handfuls of boxes, now she had a chance to ruin even more of his store.  
  
15 wands in, she found her match, Willow, 8 inch, with two drops of blood in it, one from a unicorn and the other from a phoenix. Interesting, she thought, as the red electricity that had danced along her skin had faded and the air that blew was gone.  
  
*  
  
They left the shop, much to the relief of Olivander, who was getting very annoyed by these two giggling pixies. They made there way up to the cool move-y brick-y thing-y as it had been re-named by Jess. They did the little, tap, tap, tap on the bricks and then returned to the dusty, dark leaky cauldron. Jess had noticed a lot of things we dark, and dusty. They entered said hello to the bar keep and walked up stairs to get changed for dinner.  
  
* "So Miranda," Jess said breaking the cold silence that had filed the room "What are you going to name your bat?" Jess said cooly. "Spike," she said in response, with no emotion. The two girls's eyes met, they had both accepted that neither one was going to say sorry, so that they best just forget it.  
  
"Spike? You've got to be kidding me!" Jess said, knowing full well about Miranda's buffy the vampire slayer obsession, her having one aswell.  
  
"Shut up! You like him too. What's the rats name?" she said slipping a dress over her head. Miranda said rat purposely to agitate Jess.  
  
"For the last time!" Jess screamed "it's a fucking ferret. And it's name is Draco,"  
  
"Draco?" Miranda said giggling  
  
"Yes Draco, like from dragon heart?" she said slipping on her crazy pants.  
  
*  
  
Miranda and Jess walked down the stairs slowly, giggling about something or other, as they always do. Walking past the bar, they waved and smiled to the bar tender and sat in a table. Jess looked around, looking over all of the strangely dressed people, she fit in so well with these people. Her eyes were caught by something very ridiculously blonde, turning her head and squinting her eyes she saw him. The boner-boy was sitting at the table across and to the left of them. He looked up from his menu and there eyes met, *I wonder if I can make him go red again* Jess thought evilly, and winked at him. It had worked and the boy went bright red, got up and left. 


	5. When Miranda's Attack

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Right, 'ere's yer ticket," Hagrid said the next day handing the two girls there tickets, "Yer train leaves in 'alf an 'our,"  
  
"But Hagrid, why do we have to do it on our own," Miranda whined.  
  
"Yeah, why can't you come with us, we'll miss you if you don't," the other pixie whined, before giving him a hug.  
  
"Now, now," he said patting them both on the head, "I'll see ye' on tha otha' side," and with that he left.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Miranda our train leaves in 10 minuets, what in the hell is with the ¾'s business,"  
  
"I don't now, how about we ask someone,"  
  
"Oh yeah, 'Hello I am a complete random, and I was wondering if you could tell where I can catch a magical train to go to a magical place, with faeries and pixies and elves, and a giant man. Named Hagrid who is my friend," Jess said mockingly.  
  
"Oh shut the fuck up Jess, I don't see you coming up with any ideas," Miranda said furiously.  
  
"Well Miranda, as I have done in the past just run at spots on the walls and hope for the best," Jess said signalling to the wall.  
  
In the past Jess had gotten 'Middle Earth Fever' and had tried everything to get to Middle Earth, running at paintings, and spots of paint in Emma's' and Miranda's house was one of her many ways.  
  
"Like this," Jess said, running up to a wall and expecting to be stopped by it, put her arms and legs up expecting to be stopped by the wall. She fell straight through the wall.  
  
*Luckly I broke my fall with my face*, Jess thought rubbing her face. Looking up she saw a sign reading: 'Platform 9 ¾.'  
  
"Miranda, ha, I was right and you were wrong," Jess said turning around expecting Miranda to be there as well. She wasn't, all that was there was a hard brick wall. Pounding her fists hard on the brick wall, she yelled out "Miranda."  
  
On the other side of the wall . . .  
  
Miranda's face-knob was stuck on shock, she wasn't shocked at the fact that Jess had just disappeared, possibly into Middle Earth, but at the fact that she was right. She looked around; no-one had apparently noticed that Jess had just completely disappeared through that brick wall. She walked up and put her hand up to it, and sure enough it to disappeared, and had hit something, warm and hard, no doubt Jess's head.  
  
Miranda turned around, grabbed Jess's trolley, and pushed it hard straight at the wall, so that if it got wrecked it would be Jess's and not hers. The trolley too disappeared into the wall, which was all she needed, she grabbed her trolley and ran straight at the wall. When she had reappeared on the other side, Jess was sprawled out on the ground along with all her possessions, apparently Jess had been standing directly in the way of her, trolley, and when it had come out the other side of the portal, had hit her, hard.  
  
"Bloody hell Miranda, you stupid git," Jess said getting up "you could've slowly pushed it through, instead of throwing it." Both girls had a habit of using English slang, despite the fact that they weren't English, in the slightest.  
  
"Sorry," Miranda said in her retarded voice, trying to suppress a laugh, "So, I see we have finally made it to our platform," she said looking at her watch.  
  
"Look," Jess said pointing to the 9 ¾'s sign, "Feel the three quarter- ness."  
  
A loud whistle blew, "5 minuets" was yelled from the other-side of the platform.  
  
"Shit," Miranda and Jess both said to each other. The two girls grabbed all of Jess's things and made there way quickly to the train director, who grabbed there bags and showed them to the door of the train. Jess and Miranda made there way into the train, carrying 3 cages. As there trunks were loaded into the train.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
It was silent, no-one else was on the train, just the two of them, and a little fat woman who came around with weird looking lollies. They had nothing to do, so they decided to play hide and seek, and chasey (tag), and any other game they could possibly think of, they were THAT bored.  
  
Miranda put a jelly bean in her mouth and spat it out immediately, "Ewwww, that's disgusting tasting, tastes like ear wax!" she said wiping her tongue on her sleeve.  
  
Jess looked at her strangely, "It freaks me out, that you actually KNOW what ear wax tastes like," she said with a shudder.  
  
Draco hoped into her lap, and started to nibble on a darkly coloured jelly bean, whilst Jess stroked his head lovingly. Miranda looked at Draco with envy.  
  
"So Miranda, where's spike hanging out now-a-days?" Jess said looking around.  
  
Miranda pointed solemnly to the corner of their booth, where the bat was hanging up side down, asleep.  
  
"Here Spike," she said, holding out her finger, and the bat flew down to clasp it tightly.  
  
"Now all we need for this happy reunion is Gandalf."  
  
"Gandalf?"  
  
"Yes, Gandalf, I already took the liberty of naming our owl,"  
  
"Oh well thankyou for consulting me about it," Miranda said, sounding a bit miffed.  
  
The two girls, well Jess at least had completely disregarded the only-one- pet rule. Seeing as Spike and Draco were actually pets, and Gandalf was a means of communication, so thus could not be classified as a pet. They hadn't even started school and were finding a way around the rules.  
  
Jess removed the cloth from the large cage that was placed next to her and the owls eyes fluttered open. Draco immediately leapt from Jess's lap, to the edge of the cage, and started sniffing intently. She opened the cage, and reached her hand in, and started to stroke the white breast of the bird. It opened its wings and stretched its neck as she did this. She put her hand to just in front of its feet to allow it to step onto her hand, and be taken out of the cage. At the removal of the owl, spike flew up to his original resting place, and went back to sleep.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Jeeesssss," Miranda whispered in Jesses ear.  
  
"Jjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssssssssssssss," she said prodding her.  
  
"No touchy," Jess mumbled waking out of her deep sleep.  
  
"We're here Jess, wake up and get your shit together," Miranda said continuing to poke her.  
  
It was already night when they had arrived, actually it had been night-time for a while when they were on the train as well. They stepped out of the train, the air was cold on there face's and there nose and cheeks had gone red. It was so cold they could even see there own breathe, it was cool.  
  
"Hallo, girls," came a very familiar voice to there left, both girls spun on there heels Miranda spun to hard and fell over, landing flat on her back. Jess pointed at her and doubled over in laughter. Hagrid rushed over to help Miranda up; Jess was still pointing and laughing. She had gone bright red, as she dusted herself off, and gave Hagrid a hug. Jess was still laughing as she went over to give Hagrid a hug also.  
  
"How ya goin old buddy, old pal," Jess said jumping to trying and give him a noogy. She failed.  
  
"Fine, 'nd yerself?" he said leading them over to a dock full of little 2 man boats.  
  
"You two go in tha' one, nd I'll go in this one," he said hoping into a boat.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The girls had figured out how to make the boats accerlerate and were, in no time, circling Hagrid. But then he told them off, so they sulked and made sure that there boat went extra slow.  
  
They were half way across the lake when it happened. Jess thought about Miranda falling over, and it hit her like a tone of bricks. She started to piss herself laughing again.  
  
"What? What is so funny?" Miranda said self consciously, "What's so funny?"  
  
"You *gasp* fell *gasp* over *gasp*" Jess said between laughing.  
  
Miranda went bright red, and without thinking, pushed Jess as hard as she could. Jess fell in the lake. Due to the many layers of clothes she was wearing, she was finding it hard to swim. She grabbed the side of the boat to try and pull herself up, she felt a hand grab her's. She tried to say 'no don't, or the boat'll capsize,' but all that came out were splutterers and gasps for air. As Miranda leaned over to try and help Jess, the combination of there weight was too much, the little boat could no longer stay a-float and decided to capsize. So Miranda and jess were stuck with absolutely drenched clothes, clinging for dear life to the upturned boat.  
  
Suddenly, something grabbed Jess's and Miranda's waist, remembering what had happened in Lord of the Rings, Jess started to struggle, all the thing did was take a tighter grip on her waist. A long tentacle lifted both girls out of the water, and placed them neatly into Hagrids boat. He looked at the two drenched pixies, and immediately started to giggle once more. He removed his large furry coat, and placed it around there sholders. "ttt- ttthhaannnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyoooouuuuu," Jess chattered. 


	6. ARSE of the OLIVER WOOD'S variety

To ALL 2 of you who reviewed, I thankyou ever so kindly, and applaud in your general direction.  
FIC HERE   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The two shivering girls looked around in awe at the huge entrance hall, it could've fitted Jess's house in there easily. It was made on stone, and at first glance it looked very un-welcoming, however, as they continued to look around the dimly lit hall, looked very welcoming and almost homey. The girls had been told that the school was in a large castle, but sweet Jesus, they had never imagined anything like THIS!  
  
Jesses stomach growled loudly, she was hungry, nay, she was dam hungry. She scrunched up her face at the sound of her own stomach eating itself. Resulting in Miranda giggling. A woman with black hair came bustling around the corner, she was dressed in dark reddy-brown robes, she took one look at the drenched girls and her jaw dropped. The girls moved closer to Hagrid, for protection.  
  
"Hagrid! What happened?" the woman asked accusingly, finally pulling her eyes away from them.  
  
"Well . .yerr . . ya see . . what happened was . . ."  
  
"What happened was," Jess butted in "We were shifting our weight to get into a more comfortable position in the tiny boats, which personally I think you need to re-evaluate the size of, and I accidentally fell in, and Miranda," she said pointing to her "she tried to help me out, but the end result was that the boat then capsized-"  
  
"Jess, shut up . . . never speak again," Miranda butted in softly, so the woman could not hear her.  
  
"Very well then, I do wish for you to speak when you are spoken to Mrs. Currie," she said giving Jess the evils. She back up even more into Hagrid. "Hagrid will you please take there two girls up to Madam Pomfrey to get cleaned up, and then return with them to Great Hall for dinner?"  
  
"Yes, Professor McGonagall," Hagrid replied looking down at the floor. Jesses eyes widened at the prospect of dinner.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The two girls entered the Great Hall behind Hagrid, the room was large, ridiculously large, there were 4 long tables set up, but no-one sat in them. The room was lit by many torches all situated along the walls. The ceiling was so high, that they couldn't it, but it looked like they were looking into the night's sky. It was amazing. As they headed towards the table at the back of the hall. Candles were set up all along the table, accept, as they got closer, jess and Miranda realized that they were floating up and down in mid-air.  
  
Jess's eyes widened as she looked at the candles and then to the ceiling and back to the candles again. As she got closer to the long table at the back she surveyed all of the Professors at the table. The old man at the centre of the table, stood with open arms, his long silver beard was as long as his hair and could've easily be tucked into his belt. His bright eyes shone through half moon glasses at the tip of his nose.  
  
"Greetings!" he said happily. The girls stepped into the light of the candles. Miranda wore her short checked skirt again, and a black top with Mary Janes, and Jess wore her crazy stripy pants with a rather low cut top. They were looked up and down by all of the teachers before Dumbledore spoke again.  
  
"I am Albus Dumbledore, head master of this fine establishment, these are your Professors for this year, and over this coming month will be teaching you all of the subjects that you missed out on," he looked at them, his eyes were twinkling with life and mischief. "I will introduce you to the teachers now and then I believe we will proceed onto dinner as I am sure that the two of you are famished."  
  
Jess started to shake her head 'yes' wildly, as she was really very hungry.  
  
"Well I do believe that you have already met Hagrid," Hagrid had just then taken a seat at the left end of the table, he waved to them and they waved back. "He teaches Care of Magical Creatures, then there is Madam Pomfrey, you have met her too, then Professor McGonagall, she teaches Transfiguration, and then Professor Snape, he teaches potions."  
  
He shot a look at the girls, his eyes were shifty, he had a long hocked nose, and was black from head to foot, apart from his white skin. Jess shivered, she thought he was sexy, shame on her. As Dumbledore went down through the line the girls were introduced to all there Professors. As he neared the end of the table to Madam Hooch, a young boy rushed into the hall, trying to pull on his cloak. Dumbledore had stoped talking at the entrance of this boy. He walked briskly up and stopped right next to Jess, he was cute, correction he was ridiculously cute.  
  
"Sorry Headmaster," the boy said in a thick Scottish accent, Jess and Miranda's eyes widened, he looking straight up at Dumbledore completely oblivious to the too girls standing next to him.  
  
"And this," he continued, "is Professor Wood,"  
  
Jess and Miranda both started to giggle hysterically, "He is the assistant flying instructor, and he will be teaching you how to fly, when term starts."  
  
Professor Wood looked at the two girls next to him, he was just tall enough so that he could see down Jess's top, *they are cute* he thought *they are very cute. No wait bad Oliver, bad Oliver, they are students, not supposed to think naughty thoughts about students*. Both girls looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Now girls if you would follow Oliver up here, and take a seat I believe that we will begin eating."  
  
Jess followed Professor Wood as quickly as she could without falling over his feet, *Such a cute arse*, she thought as she stared at it and tilted her head to one side.  
  
Professor Snape had obviously noticed this little girl checking out the flying instructor and cleared his throat loudly. Jess shot her head up and looked at him, his eyes were black as ink, she looked at him and grinned sheepishly. *Wait, she smiled at me* Snape thought *students aren't s'posed to smile at me, I strike fear into the hearts of many*, continuing to stare at this little pixie, he didn't like pixies. He continued to stare even after she had returned perving on Wood.  
  
The girls sat down, Jess was next to Wood and Miranda next to her. They were silent for once, Jess because she was eating, and Miranda because Jess was eating. Finally Jess turned to Wood.  
  
"So how does it feel to have a last name, that means erection?"  
  
At this question he started to choke on his food, he was going purple. Professor Snape rose with grace and started to perform the himlic manuver. After the food had been dislodged from his oesophagus, Snape had given them, particularly Jess, and stare so cold that would make ice, jealous. Wood had gone bright red, and wasn't looking at either of them.  
  
"Well??" Jess said, raising her eyebrows suggestively. "Ummmm uh ummm" was all that he could manage. How could someone so young ask him such a out there question, he had never met any one who was this forward, and well he had no idea how to react.  
  
Miranda poked Jess hard in the ribs, she turned to face her, "Jess I can't believe you just said that," then they began to argue in quick muffled voices that he could not comprehend. Jess turned to him, with her head hanging, "Sorry". And continued on with her meal like nothing had happened. Wood just stared. 


	7. A Molestationshindig

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The couple of weeks they had been there had gone by as fast as food hobbit convention (no offence to the hobbitish folk amongst you). The girls had barely seen Professor Wood, well they had actually only seen him a total of 5 times. Jess couldn't help but get the distinct feeling that he was avoiding them. He was, and he was dam good at it to. He always sat at the other end of the dinner table, and was completely blocked off by many of the teachers facial hair and stomaches (*cough* Hagrid *cough*), he checked around the corners before he ventured into a corridor, and he mainly kept to his office or dormitory.  
  
However he new that the day would come when he had to face them again, and be placed into another uncomfortable situation.  
  
Miranda came rushing around the corner trying to escape the wrath of jess, she too quickly followed. As Miranda tore down the long corridor, she kept having to adjust her clothing so she would not find herself pantless or topless in the middle of the school corridor. She was wearing Jesses dark blue jeans, which fitted, Jess had cursed Miranda for looking better in her clothes than she did herself, and a blue halter neck top with pictures of cherubs on it. Jess suddenly tripped on a loose cobblestone, she cursed her self for never tying up her docs.  
  
"WAIT!" Jess called out to Miranda and she grabbed the back of her faded blue jeans, and proceed to bend down and tie up her shoes. Miranda obeyed and stoped and few metres in front of her. Jess rose, and busted off her black top. She was wearing her invader zim top, with the words 'DOOM' written all over it, and another ¾ purple top underneath that.  
  
"OK, go!" jess said as she darted at Miranda. She zig-zagged away from her and continued down the long corridor. They were laughing and screaming, and having the time of there lives.  
  
Jess was gaining on her. She was just about to catch her when the corridor ended, and they were forced to turn the corner. They hit something. There was a mingle of hard and soft, flesh and metal, cold and warm.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Oliver Wood was walking down the corridor, he had just returned from riding on his broom, it had been a while since he had and he forgot how much he loved it. He was dirty and sweaty and all together yummy looking. His cloak was billowing out behind him and he walked quickly and confidently down a deserted corridor. Forgetting that he was supposed to be trying to avoid the two little pixies, that had a habit of making rude comments, he had heard about Jess asking Snape if he was 'always this anal', he continued on his way. The voices became louder and louder, as if they were getting closer. He peeked his had around the corner of the corridor, to find two girls chasing each other down the other corridor in his direction. He turned on his heel and was about to head in the opposite direction when two small warm bodies hit him. He was forced back into a suit of armour, and he fell to the ground, two girls sprawled out on top of him. it was a mingle of arms and legs and hands, and other naughty body parts.  
  
Being a little bit shocked at there fall, none of them moved. Oliver felt something in his hand and something in his other. Something warm and squeeze-able. Horror over came him. Lifting up his head and surveying the scene, someone had there hand on his un-mentionables. When they had fallen, one of his legs was placed in-between each of the girls legs, and their's in between his. One of his hands was on Jess's breast, and the other was placed on Miranda's arse. Her hand it seems had been jammed rather forcefully under his body and was grabbing his arse. While Jess's hand was place nicely on his chest as was Miranda's and she was tapping.  
  
Jess lifted her head up and peered over the person she had collided with, it was Professor Wood.  
  
"HHHEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOOO MR.WOOD" she said and absolutely died laughing. She was wriggling on top of him, and he was starting to feel his skin tingle. Miranda started to giggle as well, so now he had too girls squiring on top of him with laughter, and there legs near his . . .and his near there . . and his hands on there . . He started to go bright red, his wrist was in a very uncomfortable position. He attempted to move it so that he didn't seem like a pervert and to make it more comfortable, he failed and jess faced contorted in shock.  
  
"Hands! Hands in new places,"  
  
"I . . .I'm sorry . ." he started but was quickly cut off, by the giggling of the girls. Something behind him was clanking metallically. Apparently when they had all collided, they had hit a suit of armour. It was now putting itself back together again. Accept for a few pieces that were missing . . . A suit of armour came into Oliver's view, it was missing an arm . . and Oliver came to the horrible realisation that he knew EXACTLY where it was. The suit of armour reached down and picked up his arm that was placed on his . . . upper thigh. . the suit looked at his arm to Oliver and the girls to his arm again and shock his head. It held the arm at an arms length, shook it's head and then stormed off, apparently upset. All was silent. They all looked at each other and started to die with laughter. That was the beginning of a close friendship between the three of them. 


	8. Harry Potter Enters Stage Left

Thankyou to everyone who has reviewed my story, sorry for the delay but my computer kept buggering up. Sorry again, and thanks!  
  
FIC HERE ~~~~  
  
Over the coming months, the girls learned all that they had missed out on in the past years. It was hard; they had to cram 4 years of work into a time span of two months. And within there first day of arriving at the fantabulous castle, the girls came to a horrible realization that there Discman's didn't work! No Nirvana, no Placebo, no Jimmy Eat World, no K's Choice, no Evanescence, no Penguin Llama Intersection (the name of there own compilation CD's) and no nothing.  
  
The girls were going slowly insane at the prospect of going a whole year without any music. It had resulted in them walking around the school grounds singing, and because Jess was so ridiculously off-tune, it didn't help the situation.  
  
They tried to educate Oliver in the ways of muggle alternative music, through Miranda playing on her guitar and drumming on random objects, and Jess trying to sing off tune, neither helped.  
  
Emma was a main topic of conversation, they were telling the professors about her antics and talked to each other about it, they were missing her very much. She being there other best friend. On many nights the girls had come running to Oliver in tears because of how much they missed her. Being such a close friend that he was he comforted them, and they would on some occasions spend the night. (No it's not what you are thinking, nasty little minds) he would insist on sleeping on the floor, much to the grumblings of the girls, it was his room he should sleep in his bed. They however, in the middle of the night, levitate him into the bed. So it was a real shock to him when he woke up, to have two pretty little pixies snuggled up to him. They got very evil looks from the teachers when they exited Oliver's dorm in the mourning, and Professor McGonagall would give Oliver the eyes of shame at breakfast.  
  
However both had enjoyed there stay in the castle, there were so many rooms, and so may things that they could riffle through and explore. They had met the ever popular Filch and Ms Norris, in an awkward situation involving a elephant, a nine iron, and some ice cubes in the 3rd floor corridor. Miranda and Jess didn't like him at all and his little cat too, but jess had a soft spot for him, due to the fact that he looked like her late grandfather. Both girls however regarded him as a pirate, and were waiting on the day when he would say 'Aarrrrrrrr matie'.  
  
The pixies had large amounts of fun in there charms class, which they excelled at, only due to the fact that they tried them out on each other, in one class they had gotten into an unofficial tiff, where jess and Miranda were yelled out 'Accio Miranda' and 'Accio Jess' at each other at the same time. This had ended badly.  
  
They where having so much fun at school (a very rare occurrence). They had moved into the spare dormitory near the teachers', because they hadn't been sorted into a house as of yet and had to wait for the, as the professors had referred to it 'Sorting ceremony'. Being so close to the teachers didn't allow then to do very much at night (Accept for sneaking into Oliver's dorm).  
  
They had been very interested in the library, spending a majority of their time there, however Miranda was outraged that they didn't have any Ann Rice books, despite the fact that she had brought her entire collection with her, she was still out raged that the literate community of Hogwarts was being deprived. However she was interested in some of the more self-help books, i.e. Beauty books, Jess too took a great interest in these books, and checked them out frequently.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Australia: Emma sat in her room, surrounded by candles with her alter in front of her, she was meditating, but found it hard to do when she had a backpack full of shampoo, CD's, a CD player (thank god Emma had found out how to use her Discman, seeing as she had no idea what HOLD meant, and was very upset that once she would turn it on, it would say HOLD and then turn off), Vegemite, underwear, sneakers, bra's and her beauty supplies. *Screw this*, she thought giving up on meditating. She was missing Miranda and Jess to no end. She even cried a few times, she missed them that much. So far she had had to spend all of her time with Kate, who only ever wanted to get drunk or stoned, and just plain wasted her time, Jacinda who was either always with Chris and if the ever did anything Chris had to come, because that's the way his annoying self is, or Bec, who was rude and mean and all together annoying.  
  
"That's it" she said to herself "I'm going, no more maybe's this life is shit, and if I go to middle earth it will be much better than this crap hole," Removing a piece of paper from her pocket she red out a long winded incantation and shut her eyes tight. Opening her eyes she had the biggest disappointment of her life, she was still in her room. I'm never going to get to middle earth, or meet the Legolas and tell him that he sucks, and *cries* Miranda and jess have deserted me she thought to herself, sobbing quietly. "KEEP IT DOWN!" screamed her mother, from the other room. 'Bloodly hell mum, leave me al-" Suddenly her vision was blurred by a blinding white light, she felt her legs leave the ground, and the next thing she could feel was soft grass under her.  
  
*  
  
Harry Potter looked out of the window of the Hogwarts express and sighed, the trees were whipping by and he new that it was going to be a LONG trip. His two best friends, Ronald Weasly and Hermione Granger, were on opposite sides of the compartment, no-one was saying anything. The compartment door slid open, to reveal Draco Malfoy, standing there with the smugist look on his face. Harry could feel the blood pumping in his ears. The bastards face just made him mad.  
  
"Hello potter," he spat with disgust in his voice. "Piss off malfoy," Ron said before he could continue. "Ron! Don't swear." Hermione said softly, but with the distinct sound of approval. "I thought I'd be the first person to tell you all, we're having new students at the school the year," "Well of course there called first years, the trains full of them," Ron replied matter-of-factly. "No, you bloody git, we're getting new students in OUR year. Girls, two of them." "And how do you now this?" Hermione piped up. "I heard it from my father, who heard that Dumbledore are letting two muggle girls from Australia. Father was in an uproar about it, first they're muggles AND foreigners!" "Piss-off Malfoy, we don't want any of your shit here," Harry potter said with venom in his voice. "I was just about to leave Potter, father doesn't want me hanging around peasants and mud-bloods," he said cooly, looking from Ron to Hermione. The blood was pounding hard in Harry's ears, he could see that Ron was just about to snap. SNAP Ron lunged at Draco, he wanted to rip him to pieces. Grabbing Ron's robes Harry pulled him back, and stood up. His knuckles were going white he was clenching them so tight, he hated it when people talked about other people like that. Particularly when Malfoy did it. "Fuck off Malfoy, I mean it, don't make me do something I'll regret," he was inches away from Draco's face. He had grown a lot over the holidays, he was taller, and more intimidating now. Malfoy it seems had also grown, but Harry was taller. Draco turned on his heel and headed back down the train, he didn't like saying stuff like that, but he had to keep up the Malfoy image. What would people think, what would his father think, his father would . . . he didn't want to think about it.  
  
Harry returned to his seat, ignoring the stares of Hermione and Ron, "Harry when did you get so . . .intimidating?" Hermione said in shock. "That was bloody brilliant," was Ron's response.  
  
He was silent the rest of the train ride, deep in thought. Two new girls? He couldn't help but wonder why? Why now? All the way from Australia. Something wasn't sitting right with him, he new that there must be something different with these girls for them to come now. He could feel that there was something to come, but he didn't know what. He could just feel it. 


	9. We Are Obscene

Jess stood frozen in her bra and her cutesy stripy undies, her eyes were shut tight. Miranda stood opposite her, she too was dressed in a bra and matching undies, pointing her wand at Jesses head. She looked down into the book she was holding.  
  
"Rectus cappilius," she said, swishing and flicking, "Cappilus color mutare"  
  
"Well?" Jess said opening one eye, "Did it work? Is my hair straight?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Goddamit" she said storming over to the mirror "Why didn't it work! Goddammit." She was inspecting her hair in the mirror, looking for any signs of straightness, but there was none. "We did everything right-" then it happened. It started and the roots of her hair, they started to flatten, not only were they falttening out but they were going red. In no time at all, every single hair on her head was straight and red.  
  
"It worked," Jess said in shock, "It actually freaky-dicky-well worked,"  
  
"I know! Aren't I fabulous!" Miranda replied, as the two girls began jumping up and down on the bed.  
  
"OK me next!" Miranda said handing Jess the book. "Remember I want it longer, OK?"  
  
"OK," was Jess's dull reply as she busied herself looking for the spell for hair growth. "Rectus accretio," she said rather forcefully, swishing and flicking her wand at Miranda's head.  
  
Miranda could feel her head starting to tingle, she kept her eyes closed however, and she wanted to make it a surprise for herself. She could feel it tickling her shoulders, then her back, then her ribs until she could feel it just above her butt. Opening her eyes, she inspected the hair, it was now very long, wavy and in good condition. "I think you might've gone a little bit over board Jess," Miranda said inspecting its length.  
  
"That's because I'm," she breathed on nails and buffed them on her top, "Pro."  
  
*~*~*~*~*  
  
The girls were getting dressed nervously when they heard the sound of many horse-drawn carriages pull up and the sound of excited chatter below there window. Both girls looked at the open window, they felt there stomaches jump into there throats. The students had arrived. The 2 little half naked pixies rushed to the window and pushed it open, they could see the hundreds of student climb out of carriages. And make there way to the steps of the castle. "Oh yeah baby shake it!" Jess yelled out from her window.  
  
"That's it baby work it!" Miranda and Jess yelled in unison.  
  
The two half-naked girls began yelling out obscene phrases with insinuating properties. They were completely oblivious to the person that had entered there dormitory and was leaned up against the door.  
  
The sound of throat clearing made Miranda's insides jump directly to her throat , she spun on her heel, as slowly as possible, to address the source of the sound and came face to face, with none other than Snape. She froze, she was standing there half-naked in front of a male part of the faculty, and jess was still yelling out to all the students below her. He quickly put his hand up to cover his eyes.  
  
Miranda poked jess hard in her side, she to then spun around. "Miranda, why'd you-," she stopped mid-sentence. She noticed the person draped in black, standing at the portrait hole, covering his eyes. It could be non-other than Snape. Miranda made a grab for the rest of her clothes, to cover herself up. Jess just stood there, hands on her curvy hips, and giving Snape the coldest stare.  
  
"And how long have you been standing there, Mr. I-like-to-glare?"  
  
It infuriated him the way this girl talked, she had no respect for her elders, he thought angrily and even more so her Professors, and she was so very, very . . hair is red, and straight, it wasn't like that before, it looked so real it could rival that of a Weasly, and the other one's was ridiculously long and flowing. He wiped the images of how pretty the two girls looked with there new hair from his mind. He was s'posed to be evil.  
  
"Too long, Ms Currie, too long. The sorting ceremony is about to begin, go down stairs to the Entrance, and wait for Professor McGonagall and for God's sake put some clothes on," and with a wave black material, he was gone.  
  
The girls looked at each other, and began to get dressed whilst laughing hysterically.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The entire school had heard about the two new students, by the time they had all assembled in the Great Hall. If they hadn't heard it on the train, then they defiantly would've noticed the two girl's voices yelling insinuating phrases at them when they had arrived at Hogwarts. They were all eager to see them, no-one had every joined the school mid-way through. They all chatted excitedly about rumours they had heard and what they all thought they looked like, the usual. Then the moment had come and the tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a spoon. The double doors opened, and McGonagall came in followed by a bunch of scared looking 1st years. 


	10. Sort Me Here, Sort Me There, Sort Me Any...

Miranda was beaming, she could see over everybody's head, and she liked it. They had assembled in the entrance hall, in front of the double doors to the Great Hall. The girls were so nervous, they looked around at all the 1st years, they were all so short and cute.  
  
"Now you will be sorted into houses, they will be your family for the period of time you are at Hogwarts. The houses are Slytherine, Gryfindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw." McGonagall said in a very intimidating voice, if she wasn't trying to strike fear into the hearts of the already fearful 1st years. She was failing.  
  
"Follow me," she said turning around and pushing open the large double doors.  
  
As they entered the entire of the Hall hushed. They were all looking at the young kids, evaluating and rating them. Some were whispering saying "that one"s defiantly going to be in Slytherin," or "Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryfindor, Syltherin Ravenclaw," and pointing at a different person.  
  
Then all was hushed, as the two girls walked into the hall. They could feel all eyes were upon them. Miranda couldn't breathe she was so scared, and Jess felt as though her heart was about to leap out of her chest.  
  
Jess did the only thing she could think of in a situation like this.  
  
"Hey, hey howz it goin? How the hell are ya? Hey, what's going on? Hey, how you doin?" she began saying to random people. She lifted up her hand and waved at the people, and began to blow them kisses, saying "Yes, yes I am fabulous aren't I." Everybody began to give her what-are-you-some-sort-of-freak looks.  
  
"Jess stop it, shut up," Miranda hissed through gritted teeth.  
  
Along with the rest of the school Harry was staring at the two girls who had a head above the rest of the 1st years. Ron and Hermione were on either side of Harry, and they too, were staring.  
  
Harry leaned over to Ron, "You didn't tell me your cousin was one of the new students," Harry said staring at the red-head who was blowing kisses to everyone.  
  
"She's not my cousin, I don't have any girl cousins, come to think of it I don't have ANY cousins."  
  
Harry suddenly felt like all the blood had rushed out of his head, as the one with the long brown hair looked at him. He could feel something, he was starting to get light headed, there was something there, something odd, and he just couldn't put his finger on it. Ron and Hermione had obviously noticed that he was pale, they leaned in.  
  
"Harry are you alright? Is it your scare?" Hermione said in a concerned voice, it was always the scar.  
  
"No, it's just, I'm kinda dizzy, I just must be hungry," he said trying to brush them off, however he couldn't ignore the fact that his scar was tingling.  
  
As the girls got closer to the teachers table, they spotted Hagrid and smiled at him, spotting Oliver to, he gave them a little wave, and pointed to the table Harry was at. MY HOUSE, he mimed with his mouth beaming with pride. Days before the beginning of school Oliver told them everything about Gryffindor. Gryffindor this, and Gryffindor that and Gryffindor hit me with a bludger bat. Jess and Miranda both gave him a suggestive wink and a head nod, Miranda blew him a kiss, whilst Jess licked her lips and raised her eyebrows suggestively. Oliver turned beat red.  
  
Then from somewhere a old voice started to say something about putting him on, and about the four houses and what they're like. Jess wasn't really paying attention much.  
  
"When I call your name, step up and I will place the sorting hat on your head, and you will be sorted into your houses." Professor McGonagall's voice boomed out over the crowd. Jess and Miranda peered over the crowd, it wasn't that hard, and there sitting on a stool was a mouldy, old hat. Miranda shuddered; the hat was giving her the wiggins.  
  
"Catlin Adder," McGonagall read out forms a long piece of parchment. A small chubby girl hopped up to the stool, sat down and had the hat placed on her blond head.  
  
"HUFFLEPUFF" the hat cried out to the shushed crowd. Miranda jumped slightly, and had Jess not been there to hold onto, she would've fallen over completely.  
  
* When the A's and B's had gone by, Jess's fear grew, they had gotten to the C's and it would only be a short time before her name was called out and she had to go into a house. She was afraid, she didn't want to be in another house than Miranda and it was freaking her out. She was afraid that she wouldn't get into a "good" house, like what if she got into Slytherine, and from what Oliver had said, she didn't want to.  
  
"Rachel Curnow," McGonagall said. And a little girl with dead straight black hair, sat on the stool.  
  
"RAVENCLAW" the hat yelled out over a short time.  
  
"Jess Currie,"  
  
The cheers from the houses died down, and the red-head made her way towards the hat. They had all been waiting for this, to see whose house she would be in, how the hat would judge her character, and thus where she would be placed accordingly.  
  
She stepped up to the hat that was placed on the stool. "HELLLOOOOOO MR.HAT"  
  
McGonagall removed the hat from the stool, so that she could sit down. She moved her hair out of her face, to reveal her Greeny-bluey eyes, that flashed with mischief, her face was long and slender, and she had a mole just about the right side of her mouth. She was quite pretty really, well compared to some of the girls there she was. The mouldy old hat was placed on her head, as everybody sat at the end of there seat waiting for the outcome.  
  
Ahhhhhhhhhhh, now let me see now, a voice said inside of her head, great talent in you, yes yes, I can see it. Powerful, very powerful, that's why you are here is it not ,there is courage, and compassion, and kindness, to some extent. But there is also darkness, I can see it, yes darkness, here, very mystical. The pieces are here but not complete. Where to put you, where to put you. Very tricky, could put you in Hufflepuff, no not there, Ravenclaw would be perfect for you knowledge, Gryfindor yes I can see you having a bright future there, you'd fit right in, but no, not to be placed there either I see. Then it must be . . .  
  
"Slytherin" the hat cried out.  
  
Everybody gasped. Nobody liked anyone from Slytherine, pure bloods only ever got in there, and they had heard that she Muggle-born. Jess's face was contorted in shock, she rose, with no emotion on her catatonic face. Ignoring the whispers that followed her she made her way over to the table, where the Slytherin's sat, she walked to the end of the table. She sat and stared straight in-front of her. Everybody at the Syltherin table was giving her the evils and whispering to each other, and she distinctly heard the word mud-blood, several times. Then she did something that no one expected, she slowly lifted her arm up so that it was perpendicular with her torso, balled her hand into a fist, and raised the middle finger to all that sat at the Slytherin table, yes, yes, that's right she gave them all the finger.  
  
Everybody else laughed at this, but Jess did not move, at all. As Professor McGonagall went through the rest of the C's, D's and E's through I's, she slowly started to snap out of the trance she was in.  
  
"Miranda Johnson" McGonagall called out, she smiled sweetly at her as she sat on the stool. She too moved her hair out of her face, so that the hat wouldn"t ruin it. Her face was rounded and sweet. She had a cute little nose, and the most amazingly blue eyes, they were icy and crystiline. The school did what they had down before as the hat as placed carefully on her head.  
  
Ahhh I have been waiting for you, you're 2nd piece to this puzzle.The pieces are here but not complete. The low, semi raspy voice said in her head Now where to put you. You have power, yes a lot of power, just like your counter part yes both equally powerful. But your soul is old, yes, my my a very old soul I see here, a soul however stained with something, something mystical has been with your soul, and with you it seems. It's all in your head your caring, your understanding, your loyalty to your friend, however darkness resides in you, oh my yes, darkness, . No need to be afraid of me. How about Ravenclaw, there is knowledge here yes, yes you'd be good there. But no, not there it seems, Gryfindor would be perfect for you, it seems that there is no choice but to place you in . .  
  
"Slytherin," the hat yelled out, no-one cheered as they had done for everybody eles, excluding Jess. Miranda too sat there in shock. She didn't move, until Professor McGonagall tapped her on her shoulder. The rest of the school was silent, they had lost two new girls to Slytherin. She turned around and looked at Oliver, tears in her eyes, she really wanted to get into Gryfindor, after what he was boasting about. He didn't look at her, he too it seemed was in shock and was looking at his plate. Then from somewhere far off she heard it, the begging of the slow clap. CLAP . . . . .CLAP . . . . CLAP . . .CLAP. . .CLAP. . .CLAP. She stood up and looked around for it's source, and then it appeared.  
  
Jess stood up on her chair and began clapping slowly and then getting faster and faster. Miranda turned bright red. Bloody Jess she thought rolling her eyes and making her way quickly to where Jess was standing up. She grabbed her arm and forced her to sit down, Jess however did not stop clapping until Miranda had to grab her hands and hold them shut.  
  
"Proceed" Miranda called out to McGonagall who was giving them the eyes of shame. 


	11. Where is Lord Jess? She fell

After the sorting ceremony McGonagall returned to her seat to the left of Professor Dumbledore, he rose as she sat and opened his arms welcoming the new students. By-far Professor Dumbledore was the girls most favourite old man of all time.  
  
"Welcome back to Hogwarts, to our new first years, our old students and a few others," his voice boomed over the quietening croud, his eyes twinkled as he looked over at the two girls. The girls giggled and Miranda and Jess both waved at him emphatically.  
  
"The Forbidden Forest is still out of bounds for all of you, and so is the third floor corridor, no students are to go in there, particularly if it involves ice cubes, an elephant and a nine iron."  
  
At this some of the teachers started to chuckle, Oliver had to hide his head he was laughing so hard, and the two girls went bright red.  
  
" I would like to introduce two new members to the school, Jess Currie and Miranda Johnson. I do believe most of you have already heard about them. They are new students into the 5th year, so if you could give them some hospitality on there be-half it would be much obliged. If there isn't anymore to say, eat up."  
  
And with that the tables began to fill with food. Unfortunatly for Jess she had not anticipated the sudden appearance of food, she was caught completely off her guard. And she feel backwards off her bench.  
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH," was yelled out by someone, and everyone went silent.  
  
"Goddam, bloody friking hell," Jess said grabing her head as she stood. Miranda was on the seat beside Jess, pissing herself with laughter. This had been about the 20th time Jess had just randomly fallen off her chair.  
  
Jess looked around, at everyone that was staring at her. She could feel her face getting hot and blood pounding in her ears.  
  
Climbing up onto the chair again, and standing so the whole school could see her, she held her arms in the air.  
  
"IT'S ALRIGHT PEOPLE, I AM OOOOOOOOK RETURN TO YOUR MEALS, NO NEED TO PANIC!"  
  
The whole school looked at her in surprise. Then it happened. Ron was the one who actually started it. He laughed, he laughed so had he nearly feel off his own chair, then Harry began to laugh and soon the whole school was laughing.  
  
*  
  
BANG, BANG, BANG, someone was banging on Hagrids door, he carefully made his way to the door and opened it cautiously. There standing his door step, covered in dirt and mud, and sticked in her hair, was a girl. She looked at him, her eyes widened.  
  
"GAN-D-ALF!" she cried before collapsing into the giants arms.  
  
* Miranda and Jess were busying themselves, stuffing there faces with food. At the same time both girls jerked there heads up to look at each other. There eyes grew large,  
  
"Emma," they whispered to each other. Before anyone new it they were running out the double door's once again disturbing the Great Hall.  
  
They sprinted in the direction of Hagrids hut, the air was very cool on there red cheeks, and there eyes were stinging from the cold. From the light of the castle they could make out the silhouette of Hagrid, carrying something towards them. Both girls ran up to him, and there lay Emma clutched in the huge mans arms.  
  
"What happened?" Miranda said worry in her eyes.  
  
"I dun now, she came knockin' at ma door, n' cried out sum name, st'rted wit a g"  
  
"Did she say GAN-D-ALF!" Jess cried mimicking the same tone Emma had used.  
  
"Yer, yer tha' it,"  
  
*  
  
For the remainder of the evening the girls stayed by Emma's side, refusing to let go of Emma's hand, and in the end had to pried away by Professor Snape, forcefully. Apparently Emma had been wandering the country-side for 5 days, and had gone about 2 days with out food or water, so she was fatigued and dehydrated. Madam Pomfrey gave her a weird smelling potion, that would restore her energy, and supply her body with the food and water that it had lacked. Jess had highly suggested that she should had given Emma double the amount.  
  
~*~*~*~*  
  
"Do you think that she will be alright?" Jess said worriedly, pacing there room in the Slytherin dormitory's. Because the school had already accommodated for the students that were to be arriving at the beginning of the year the girls had there own room magic-ed up for them by Dumbldore.  
  
"She'll be fine," Miranda said detachfully looking out the window. "Don't worry about it, Madam Pomfrey will have her back to her normal self again." Jess gave her a look of shock.  
  
"Oh that's reassuring, but what is she doing here, more importantly," she said throughing herself onto the bed next to Miranda.  
  
"I don't know, that's something we will have to ask her when she wakes up,"  
  
Jess stretched herself out, her long red hair was out and spread out across the bed, she turned her head near her armpit, and then quickly recoiled in disgust,  
  
"I smell like a truck driver," Jess proclaimed, "I'm off to have a bath"  
  
After Jess left the room, Miranda quickly went to the window. She could've sworn she had seen a man walk across the dimly lit grassed area. But however on closer inspection, she realised that it was a dog, its eyes flashed yellow at her direction. She gasped, as the beast just stood there staring at her, before it darted into the dark cover of the forbidden forest.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Jess made her way down the stairs and into the common room, the room went dead silent as she entered, in her bright blue fuzzy dressing gown. Everybody's eyes were upon her as she crossed the room to the bathing quarters.  
  
"MUD-BLOOD!" she heard someone yell behind her.  
  
"AWW BITE ME BITCH!" she yelled back without even flinching, and continued down the stairs to the bathrooms.  
  
"GIRLS" she read on the sign of the door she was about to enter, she pushed it open and stuck her head in. The sound of many giggling girls filled her ears, and she could see all along the walls were paintings of girls in bath tubs. *Aww HELL no* Jess thought *there ain't no way I'm getting nakey-y in there*. She continued down the hall way until she came to a door labelled 'BOYS'. She opened it, and all that she could hear was silence, no splashes, not chit-chat. She walked in, there were no pictures on the walls, thank god, and no-one appeared to be in there.  
  
The room was rather large, and black. It was really actually quite beautiful, is had several walk-in baths, a few showers, and a mirror, all made out of black tiles. The rest of the castle looked old and rustic, but DAM this bathroom was fine!  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Jess slowly got into the bubble filled bath, they were amazing. She could chooses any type of bubble bath smell, bath oil or bath crystals she wanted. She choose all vanilla, it was her favourite smell of all time. She put her hair up in a messy bun and relaxed. She new she was going to like it here. She was so relaxed she did even hear the door open. 


End file.
